By: Zoey White
My name is Zoey White, I'm 17 years old and was born and raised on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation. I fell in love with poetry and writing at the age of 13 as a way of expressing what I thought in a way that made me feel better. I joined a poetry group called Dances with Words some time ago and they've really helped me get out of my shell. Before joining them, I would have never thought to even perform my poetry.
Mi nombre es Zoey White. Tengo 17 anos y naci en la reserva indigena Pine Ridge. Me enamore con poesia y escritura a la edad de 13 de manera de expresar lo que me hacia sentir mejor. Me uni a un grupo de poetria llamado Baile con Palabras hace un tiempo y me han ayudado a salir de mi cascara. Antes de unirme a ellos, yo nunca hubiera pensado actuar mi poesia.
All in my head
Anxiety is the worst thing someone can ever have.
I worry, and fear, and think
So much so
That the migraines kick in and that
600mg pill of ibuprofen just isn't working anymore
Everyone has some form of anxiety.
You see, I have no normal amount.
I have Severe Anxiety.
Now it's mostly Social so don't worry..
But I will
And you see,
I don't take any medication for it.
I was only diagnosed last year
so if I’ve lived this long without it, I can go on for longer
Now that was my choice but right now…
Right now I feel like I should.
It's 6:15am on a Sunday
And I'm wide awake.
Because of my anxiety
I go to sleep around 2 or 3
12 if I'm lucky
Depending on what I have planned the next day
I'll have an early morning or late afternoon wake up.
I've done this for 18 years now
and it's bad.
So bad that it's in my dreams now.
It's so bad that I had just snap awake from a dream where my worst fear comes true.
I worry and worry and fear, but keep it to myself and because of that my brother and sister are safe
But my grandma and youngest sister are dead and I'm on the phone listening to their last breath.
Anxiety induced Nightmares…
Maybe I needed to cry that night.
The worst part is?
I'll probably never be taken seriously when it comes to my fear.
You, me, my family, friends, all know.
All in my head.